


hold fast hope

by acetwothreefour



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, Fluff, M/M, internal struggles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:13:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24438001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acetwothreefour/pseuds/acetwothreefour
Summary: Myungjun lives his life as a distraction, running from his own internal struggles and unresolved issues. His dreams and aspirations locked away deep in his mind.He didn't seem to mind living this way until he crossed paths with a certain Park Jinwoo, a perfect embodiment of charging into the unknown.
Relationships: Kim Myungjun | MJ/Park Jinwoo | Jin Jin
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

Transaction cancelled. 

Myungjun sighs. It's the third time this week. These privileged kids really got nothing better to do. What is he supposed to do with the food they ordered, it's not like he can even eat them all. He massaged his temples feeling the signs of an incoming headache. Whether its from the heat of the 2 o'clock sun or from his annoyance to his client, he never know. This job only cost him more than he earns.

Myungjun, on his spare time, works as a food delivery guy. People would order food then he delivers it at their doorstep. He took this job because he thought it would be convenient since he already own a scooter and food is a basic necessity so he won't run out of clients.He thought it was a million-dollar idea, he obviously didn't think far ahead. Sadly, some people have no regard to others. His client, for example, ordered three large pizzas but then cancelled when he was about to deliver them. 

Damn, there shouldn't have a cancel option. It's not like he can return the food to the restaurant. He can't help but sigh at his absurd situation. Another loss in his nonexistent savings. He decided to call it a day.

Myungjun ride his scooter and rounds to the playground adjacent to the local preschool. The said preschool is government owned, accessible to underpriviledged children. A lot of kids are playing at the said playground around this time of the day since their classes ends at noon so Myungjun decided to stop by and offer the pizza to them. Might as well eat the pizza lest the food goes to waste. 

He's friendly with the kids, he know most of the kids in this neighborhood even the preschool teachers. They are used to Myungjun giving out food to the kids, they are even thankful for that since some of the kids there have troubled homes their family have hardly enough finance.

Myungjun spotted about seven kids scattered on the expanse of the playground. They didn't notice him yet so he honked his scooter's horn

"Hey guys!" he shouted while raising two boxes of pizza. He left the other box in his scooter for his dinner, better not to spend more money for himself.

The kids collectively squealed while running into him. Three of the kids immediately clung onto him.

"Oppa you're here again! I missed you", said Siyeon, she's really a sweet kid. She's only four years old but so well spoken.  
"I bet you just miss hyung because he always bring food whenever he comes by", said Doyoung, teasing as always  
"you're the one who thinks that! I like oppa even if he doesn't bring food", she just snickered to Doyoung.

Kids really argue over petty things. Myungjun just smiled "I missed you too, Siyeon-ah. Here I have something for all of you" he leads them to the concrete benches on the side of the playground. He set the boxes of pizza then served each kid a slice. The children happily eats while playing around each other. 

This warms Myungjun's heart. His headache from before completely gone. He still has about two and a half hours before his shift on another one of his part-time job at a local grocery. He decided to just spend his time here in the playground talking and playing around with the kids. He needed a distraction anyway.

The sky become darker, clouds accumulating into giant mass covering the sun, maybe it will rain soon. He collected the empty boxes and scattered tissues to place them on the nearby trash bin.

"Kids how about we go home now? It might rain later you don't want to be caught in the rain", he suggested, deciding the bench is clean enough  
"Hyung if it rains then it will be like shower. That would be fun!" Doyoung said excitedly  
"No no. Your mom will definitely scold you if you do that" he shuffled the kid's hair  
"Also you could get sick so come on now". He decided to send off the kids now, he really can't trust them to go home if he leave first, not with Doyoung giving them weird ideas.

"Okay, hyung bye~ Play with us again tomorrow"  
"I can't promise that but I will be back whenever I can" Myungjun said with a reassuring smile.

"Now go home, make sure they get home Doyoung-ah, you know I rely on you", among kids, Doyoung is the oldest and Myungjun knows he likes being in charge. "Yes hyung don't worry" he said with a salute as they walk to their respective ways, he waves them goodbye.

The kids just live around the neighborhood so Myungjun just waited until all of the children dispersed to their own homes.

It's really fun spending time with kids, it's like he's getting back to his young self just being with them. People might think it's weird that he's friends with the children considering his age. He didn't even have a lot of friends around his age, just casual acquaintances and coworkers but no one he considers close enough to him.

Sitting on a swing, he gently rocked back and forth. This is just what he needed to momentarily forget about being an adult, responsibilities and all.  
If only one can go back in time, Myungjun would definitely be back at being a kid. No responsibilities, just having fun playing around, eating and sleeping. Nobody has expectations on kids, just let them be cute and do whatever. Also, being a kid means being still hopeful for the future, having dreams, even if they're too absurd it will still be valid. He sighs. Being an adult really mess you up.

Myungjun look up at the dark sky, this spot is really good, plenty of trees around and cool breeze swept through. 

He looks up at the nearby buildings having the urge to draw them. The dark clouds accentuates the gloomy atmosphere. If only he brought his sketchbook. 

He decided to just take a photo on his phone with his hand extended to the sky, like he's touching the clouds. 

The side of a building is caught in his photo, its windows glistening from the reflection complimenting the grey sky. 

Wow, he have a knack for photography, it seems. He set the photo as his lock screen.

The gloomy ambience made him delve on his life and all the what ifs. Seeing the buildings surrounding the clearing made him wonder if he could ever design like that or even something better. 

Myungjun is an Architecture student, well he used to be. It's his dream since he was younger. He had a creative mind growing up, competing in art contests, painting and drawing as a hobby. It's his passion. Was his passion.

All of that solidified his choice of going into Architecture school. His parents are supportive of his decisions, he didn't really struggled in choosing his lifelong dream. He did enjoy studying but then somehow it became tiring. He's doing well at it but he felt like somewhere along the way he just lost his passion. 

There came a time when he just thought that what he's doing is not really worth it. He decided then to lay off in school. It was supposed to be just temporary, he would go back when he find his motivation. He was sure he would find it, but then he never got motivated, he hadn't have a mind to go back since. 

It's like the whole bubble of his life popped into thin air, he doesn't know where to go next. Just stuck in whatever emptiness he's in. 

But well, life still happens, he had to be a responsible adult so he work here and there to get by. What he thought to be a temp job became his day-in day-out life. It's unrewarding but heck atleast he's moving along. Now it's been four years since he last went to school. It seems like for the past four years, he's been living his life as a distraction for his own unresolved issues.

Thunder grumbled, distracting him from his initial thoughts, threatening a downpour soon. Myungjun decided to just get back to his apartment first. He still have plenty of time before his shift anyway and the grocery store he's working at is just nearby. 

He drove his scooter to the apartment block, he noticed people are rushing maybe to avoid the impending rain. Vehicles are packed on the road that it took him longer to get to his street.

He's been living in this neighborhood long enough now that the people are somewhat familiar to him. Well, he's been working on the local grocer's and most of the shoppers there are from the same neighborhood plus most of the clients he gets from his food delivery gigs live nearby. 

When he reached his apartment building, he parked his scooter and secured its lock. He'll just walk to the grocery later for his shift, it's just two blocks ahead anyway.

He noticed a delivery truck across the street. It seems like it's moving huge equipment and furniture. So another business might be opening up on that space again. Myungjun has seen various business open up on that space but the weird thing is, most of them just close in a few months. It used to be a restaurant, a tea shop, then a bar. At one point he was sure that place became a crack den. It's not even a year since he moved here. 

Whoever the new tenant is, Myungjun hope the business would at least last long. He doesn't know how much opening up a business cost but he's sure it's not cheap.

He noticed a man came out of the building then proceeded to carry a table from the truck. Maybe one of the employees. The man is blonde with a height similar to Myungjun's. His body is muscular but Myungjun doubts the man can move the table on his own. It looks like it was made from solid wood too. 

Why is he moving stuff alone? The owner should've atleast hire two or three people for that. He knows he shouldn't meddle but Myungjun can't just ignore the blonde man struggling to carry the table. Before he knows it, his feet are moving across the street toward the truck.

"Hey, you need a hand with that?"  
The guy startled as he whipped his head so fast to Myungjun's direction. He musn't have noticed Myungjun approach him.

"I'm sorry. Didn't mean to startle you"   
"Ah no it's okay. I just didn't notice you. It's fine, I don't want to trouble you," he said looking sheepish

"Really I insist. That table looks heavy" Myungjun offered placing his hand on the other end of the table.

"It's fine I can handle it" after he said that his hand slipped he almost dropped his end.

"O-okay maybe not." he smiled shyly, his eyes turning into downward crescents. Myungjun just chuckled "So where does this go?"

"Uhm just anywhere inside, here I'll lead you" he walked backwards into the front door. The glass windows are all covered with paper so Myungjun can't see what's inside.

As soon as they get inside, Myungjun noticed the mess of furniture and equipments scattered haphazardly. They all look so new, some of them are even covered in protective bubblewrap. They place the table in an empty space against the glass windows. He noticed no one is here. So this guy is doing all the work alone.

"Sorry it's still a mess. I was just getting started on the move I haven't decided on where all the stuff go yet", the man said scratching his nape

"Thank you for helping me. I'm Park Jinwoo, by the way" he smiled extending his hand  
"I'm Myungjun, Kim Myungjun. I live across the street" he accepted the extended hand and shook it gently

"Don't you have anyone helping you here? Is the new owner stingy to hire more helper? I mean it's not a job for one person" he tried not to sound rude in his question

"Uhm yes it's just me. I guess the owner is really stingy" Jinwoo chuckled "It's me. I'm the owner"

"Oh" Myungjun's eyes widen at that, his mouth really has no filter. "You can just forget what I said" he laughed awkwardly.

"It's fine I don't really mind" his eyes are almost just slits on his face. The way he smiles is so cute it's like his whole face lits up.

"I can help you with the remaining stuff on the truck, there's not much left anyway and I have time"

"But I don't really wanna trouble you.. "  
"I swear it's not trouble. Also its gonna rain soon you might wanna finish moving before it rains"

"Really? Oh my god thank you so much" why does this guy looks like he's about to cry from his offer, he reminds Myungjun of a puppy. He just smiled at Jinwoo "Let's get moving then"

It didn't take them long to move the remaining stuff from the truck so Myungjun suggested they organize the stuff inside the building so that it would at least be decent to move around. Jinwoo works so slow and most of the time he didn't know where to put stuff. Maybe he's a scatterbrain. Myungjun just wonders how he'll be able to operate on his business alone.

Jinwoo offered him a drink as compensation for his help. He's sitting on a still plastic-covered couch while Jinwoo is across him sat on a stool, nursing his soda.

"So is this gonna be a restaurant?" he asked noticing the ovens and stove around

"It's actually a cafe, you know like chill places that also serves pastries. I'm actually a chef and I enjoyed baking so much so I started this"  
"Ohh, that's cool I'll definitely try your food sometime"

"Then come next month if I manage to open then. I'll give you a discount"  
"That's so soon. You still seem to have a lot to do in this place. You plan on hiring help, don't you?"  
"I actually already hired staff for the cafe but I hadn't thought about this part. You know, the setting up part. I thought I could do this alone" his voice grew silent  
"obviously I'm not doing a good job" he said gesturing around

"That's not true, you're doing actually well considering you're working alone", he reassured him. It bothers him that Jinwoo seem to be questioning himself.

"You think?" again he smiled shyly, Myungjun nodded smiling.  
"The people who would work on the interiors will be coming next week but I have no concrete plans yet" 

"At least you got ideas for this place. You know this location is really good. It's near the universities and other business, you wouldn't run out of customers. You just have to set up the right ambience for a cafe" 

"Really? You think so?" Jinwoo asked a bit excitedly  
"Actually I was second-guessing renting this place before when I discovered the former tenants here mostly went bankrupt"  
"But when you said that I feel like I made the right decision" 

"But I'm no expert so you shouldn't really hold on to that" Myungjun just laughed

"But you seem like you have good visions", he suddenly seem so excited "Earlier you said I just have to set the right ambience so people would keep coming back. You mean food is not enough reason?" 

"No I didn't mean that. Sure if the food is good people will come back. It's just that, nowadays people lives around social media, the aesthetics and stuff. And that's one good way to advertise too", Jinwoo nods urging him to continue  
"If the place is aesthetic, they would surely check out the cafe, post pictures and stuff on social media then its like the place would advertise for you", he paused, gauging Jinwoo's reaction. He seem to be contemplating a lot on Myungjun's words.

"That makes sense. You seem to have a lot of ideas I envy you." he keeps nodding his head. He still looks expectant, like he's waiting for what Myungjun will say next.

Myungjun got excited that Jinwoo is considering his opinion. Sure he's a stranger, but he feels comfortable enough sharing his thoughts to him. Jinwoo have that kind of presence. 

It's a huge thing considering its for his business, its like a make or break deal. He continued "This is really a good place to be honest. With wide windows and these walls, anything is possible with just the right setup"

Jinwoo is intently listening to him, his smile unwavering. That alone makes Myungjun want to share all his ideas to him.

"Do you mind telling me what you have in mind?" he urges, calmly.

"You know, nowadays people like incorporating nature in any way possible. You can put lots of indoor plants in here. It may be a lot of work but the whole place would look pretty and also calming"

"That brick wall, could be like a gallery to display art and photograph of sceneries and stuff" he gestured to the empty wall by the counter

"You could place glass stands there on the counter for the pastries and such. Of course, the food too should look aesthetic"

"You can put tiny bookshelves by that window. That would be a great place to sit and read with that view of the park"

"And that wall can have like a graffiti or mural that would be like the main point in the cafe since it's in the center" he gestured animatedly. Myungjun is on a roll, he keeps blabbering on and on. It has been a long time since he got in touch with his creative side. He just stopped when he noticed Jinwoo has been silent all throughout his spiel.

He slowly glanced at the man, gauging his reaction. He's staring at Myungjun intently with an expression Myungjun can't understand.

"I'm sorry I was blabbering. It's stupid don't mind me" he laughed awkwardly, waving his hand dismissively.

"Myungjun.. please help me" Jinwoo staring at him expectantly. Myungjun has no what's going on in the latter's mind.


	2. Chapter 2

"Myungjun.. please help me"  
Jinwoo is staring at him with his hands clasped between his knees. Expectant. He almost looks like he's pleading.

"W-what?"

"I want you to work with me in setting up the cafe. You know, the design and stuff.." he said, seemingly unsure of what he's proposing to Myungjun

"Please? You see I have no idea what I'm doing in here" he gestured around chuckling nervously. Myungjun just stared at him not knowing how to react. This is all too sudden.

"I know you're a stranger, but you're so insightful"

"If I hadn't known I would think you've been planning all those stuff you said earlier for quite some time"

"To think that you get those ideas just a few minutes in says a lot"

"B-but that was just some stupid things off my head" he waved his hand around incredulous.

"Believe me, it's so far from stupid" he wants to. Myungjun definitely wants to believe that but a part of his mind, the part that questions every decision he makes, is screaming no. In a giant red neon sign.

The thought did excite him, but also scares him at the same time. He's never done anything like this before. Sure he had some knowledge in designing when he went to university but he feels like it's not enough. 

It's for Jinwoo's new business. This is freaking huge. How can he be that trusting to a stranger he met just a few minutes ago. What if this all goes down? It would be Myungjun's fault then. He's not really comfortable having that much control over one's future.

"I'm sorry but I can't. Those things I said were just off the top of my head. I mean it's not well thought out" he noticed Jinwoo's demeanor visibly slumped. He hates to be the reason he got that frown but he can't really trust himself for something this huge.

"I-If you really like my idea from before, you can consider it. I won't really mind" he can't meet the man's eyes. He doesn't have the heart to look at the latter's face. He looks like a kicked puppy for god's sake.

"You can hire a professional for that I'm sure they will do better"

"It's okay. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable. I-it's just that you were talking so passionately before, I felt like you have a lot to offer" Jinwoo smiled politely

"Did you.. like.. major on design? It felt like you have deep understanding on the matter" he asked with a tilt of his head

"Oh. I'm a- ", Myungjun was taken aback by the sudden inquiry  
"I actually studied architecture before. I didn't get to finish it though" he smiled at Jinwoo, feigning nonchalance.

"Ohh that's why.. you sound so creative" Myungjun is relieved the latter didn't proceed questioning him. It's like he sensed that Myungjun is getting uncomfortable. Was he so obvious?

"I'll definitely take note of your ideas, I hope you don't mind"  
"But please think about my offer", his kind smile is back again. "You said you live across the street. You can come here if you change your mind. Whenever" he said trying to sound casual but the eagerness in his voice is apparent.

"..and I really hope you do" he said silently, like he's whispering to himself but he made sure Myungjun heard it. He can't help but laugh. This man is so persistent.

"Okay" he finally said to appease him.

Three days. It's been three days since Myungjun met Jinwoo. Days passed but he can't take his mind off of their conversation. He kept thinking about the man's offer. He's wondering if he made the right decision turning him down.

He found himself staring at the paper-covered glass window of the shop. Not daring to come any closer. When he goes to work, he stops idly in in the front of his building to look at the shop. Same thing goes for when he comes back from his job.

He made sure to never pass by the building, afraid to run into Jinwoo. Undeniably, he wants to get to know more about the man, he just seem kind and comfortable, like a kind of person he could be friends with. But he didn't know how to react if the latter would bring up the offer again so he maintained safe distance. 

This is so typical of him, running away from possible opportunities just because he's scared to mess up.

Sure he still get by, doing his daily mundane tasks, his job and all the shenanigans, but he can't stop thinking about the what ifs. Now that he have more idle time since he let go of that food delivery gig, he finds himself spacing out more about the cafe.

"Myungjun? Hey", he saw a hand waving in his vision. It's his coworker's. Damn, he must have been daydreaming again. He just smiled at her, trying to say that he's focused now then gets back to his customer. He got a long line in his counter

"You sure space out a lot these days.. You should take a break if something's troubling you" her colleague said sounding concerned

"I'm fine. I guess I just.. didn't get enough sleep" he said politely, thankful that she just nodded getting back to her own line and didn't question further.

It's a good thing that he works fast when he's focused. He scanned item per item swiftly while maintaining his friendly smile. Soon enough, his line got shorter. He's pleased with that because he can take his break soon, it's near lunch after all.

"Wow, you're so focused on that.." said a familiar deep voice. Myungjun immediately snapped his head towards the man. The one person on this neighborhood he's avoiding. It never occured to him to run into him in his workplace. Of course he would, it's the nearest grocery from his building.

"O-oh hi. I didn't notice it was you"  
"Sure you won't. You didn't look up once. I was watching you the whole time" he said chuckling, like they're old friends.

"I didn't know you work here. I'm so glad to see a familiar face in this neighborhood" Myungjun slowed his pace scanning Jinwoo's items. He doesn't want to admit it but he wants to prolong their talk.

He noticed that the latter looks exhausted, evident from the dark circles around his eyes. He must have been working nonstop for his shop. Still he has a kind smile plastered on his face.

"So are you settling fine here?"

"Uhm.. kinda.. Actually I haven't explored the neighborhood yet. I was holed up in the building these past days" this guy talks so slow it's endearing. Like he's calculating every word he'll say.

"It's embarrassing but.. it took me about thirty minutes finding this grocery" he said scratching the back of his neck.

Myungjun can't help but laugh. A satisfied smile creeps into Jinwoo's face.

"It's just two blocks from your building. You could've just asked"

"You see I know that. But I went to the opposite direction" his voice is like whining now then he laughs alongside Myungjun.   
"By the time I noticed, I've gone too far" his face is red now, still laughing at his own embarrassment.

Myungjun noticed other customers on the line looking at them annoyed.

"You must be so busy so I won't keep you longer" Myungjun smiled as he hands Jinwoo his card. The latter nodded

"Nice seeing you here, Myungjun." he hesitates like he got something else to say  
"Uhh.. You know where to find me. Come by whenever" he smiled knowingly then waved goodbye. Myungjun clearly knows what he meant by that, he returned the smile politely. He gets back to work soon after, better not piss his customers any longer.

Thankfully, his shift for the day ended without any other mishaps. He just went back to his apartment, he got nothing else to do anyway. He finally let go of the food delivery work as it just becomes a liability. He hadn't found any other part time job to try yet. It's not because he's running low on money, he just doesn't like having idle time in his hands. Plus it distracts him from thinking too much which he does. A lot.

Jinwoo's words from earlier keeps ringing in his mind. Like a promise. A promise that everything will work out.

You know where to find me. Come by whenever.

"Psh. Stop thinking, Myungjun" he silently says to himself. He's obviously going crazy.

He decided to clean his apartment to get rid of those stupid thoughts. Afterall, he'd been busy that he hadn't cleaned. Now is the perfect time to do his neglected tasks.

He plays some music from his phone then placed it face-down on the counter. He likes having music while he works.

After two hours, he managed to make the apartment squeaky clean. It looks brand new. It's a one bedroom apartment anyway, so it's easy to clean and Myungjun is not much of a slob that the place is well maintained. He found himself just standing in the middle of his living room, nothing else to do.

"hmm.. guess I'll watch some movie then" he hummed while walking to the kitchen to prepare some snacks. After tossing all the chips he can find from his cupboard, he grabbed a soda then proceeds to settle comfortably on the couch, dumping the food on the coffee table.

Halfway through the movie he found himself just staring at the screen. He doesn't even know what happens on the film, his snacks neglected on his lap. 

So much for a distraction huh. He stood up and paced around the living room. This place is too stuffy. He decided to get out and have some fresh air. He changed into something comfortable and appropriate for outside.

The sky outside is a mixture of purple and orange hues. The sun must be setting soon. Myungjun walks to the direction of the playground. The place is a bit far by foot but still he wants to go there. He have ample time anyway plus he wants to clear his mind.

He didn't expect anyone to be playing in the grounds since it's a bit dark and the only illumination in the area comes from the streetlights. The playground looks eerie this way with no kids on sight.

He sat on one of the swings, absentmindedly rocking himself back and forth. The sound of the crickets and the rustling of leaves are oddly comforting in Myungjun's ear.

How his life had come to this, he had no idea. He used to be so optimistic and confident when he was growing up. Now is a different story though, it's like every step scares him and the only plausible move his mind can muster is to run. He didn't even know how many opportunities he missed just because he's scared to mess up.

If only he got even an ounce of courage. Like the way Jinwoo does. That man didn't even hesitate to rent that shop when no other person would take a second look at. It's like he believes that the place has its potential. Like the way he trusts Myungjun that easy. He can't even trust himself so it really baffles Myungjun of the other's confidence.

Just from their small talk that day he immediately decided that Myungjun can be helpful to him. Jinwoo believed in him.

He wanted to change. He wanted to be someone who faces every opportunities head on.   
If this time he fails then what the hell. He decided to just face the consequences it may bring. For now, he just wanted to trust in himself and try his best.

Myungjun abruptly stood from the swing, which caused a creak on its metal chains. He didn't think of anything else at the moment and he ran. Whether going to his own apartment or to Jinwoo's building, he had no idea. All he know is that he needed to run.

The feeling is exhilarating. The cool breeze brush past his body. He didn't dare to stop, slowing down ocassionally to catch his breath.

Before he knew it, his feet brought him to the front of Jinwoo's shop. He banged his fists on the door all the while trying to steady his breathing.

**Author's Note:**

> soo this is my first chaptered fic
> 
> if anyone reads this, comments are highly appreciated •ᴗ•
> 
> hope you like it fellas


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